Stop Talking, Start Living

IMG_3220[1]   By Clarisse Santos


“Ain’t it strange, all the things you hear when you sit and listen?”

― Paramore, Native Tongue


When people gossip about you, it’s like; you’re a celebrity with those flashy lights and fancy recorders following you everywhere. Well, I know I do. I feel like I’m one of those people who are being followed by the paparazzi.



Gossiping has always been associated with the negativity it brings to people. But did you know that it has its positive effect? Yes, a positive effect. It’s quite hard to believe, though. Who would’ve thought that talking about someone else’s life rather than yours has an upside? And duly appropriate to this is what Sean Covey wrote in The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens, “Isn’t it kind of silly to think that tearing someone else down builds you up?”


A study conducted by psychologists from the University of California, Berkeley, says that gossiping has significant social benefits. Some of which are lowering the gossipers’ stress, preventing exploitation and promoting more generous behavior.

But still, I don’t approve gossiping. (Admittedly, though, I do gossip sometimes. Well, I’m not really into it. And I don’t really dig deeper into the story. Whatever I hear, that’s the only thing I’m gonna tell, not to everyone, but only to one.) Why so? Here’s why…


Transparency is my thing. My life has always been an open book. Yet, somehow, people often mistook my openness for something else; they see it as a way to interfere with my life.

During high school, I once got caught up in a sort of romantic set-up with someone who’s quite, well, popular at school. And before I knew it, everybody at school knows what’s happening—EVERYBODY. Even the teachers and the non-teaching personnel know. News does travel fast, I told myself. It wasn’t supposed to be that big of a deal. But knowing that everybody knows what’s happening and some even say crap about me and the set-up, is irritating, frustrating even. Walking past the corridors of the school with pairs of eyes following me and proving the point that looks could kill, gossiping, I realized from that point on, is not as fun as I thought it is. Because being the subject of the gossip sucks. I mean it. (It wasn’t just that one instance in my life. There are a lot. I just don’t want to go down memory lane and tell everything. But surely, that served as the cue for me to turn my back from gossiping.  )


Mind your own business. I’ve always wanted to tell this to some people. This is my life and not yours to mess with. You can’t just go around and tell others what’s happening with my life. I’m used to being the subject of gossips. Sometimes I just let it pass but there are times that I can take it no more. But seriously, tell me, is my life really THAT interesting, you guys? I can’t say I like it. People go talking behind your back about things you sometimes don’t want others to find out. What’s worse is that the truth is being exaggerated… most of the time.


Who are you to meddle? Yes, who do you think you are, meddling and gossiping about other people’s lives? You have your own life to deal with. If you think others’ lives are more interesting than yours, well, sorry honey but you have to deal with it.

“And all this time I’ve been wasting my breath, just wasting my words on everyone else!”  I wonder… Is this line from Paramore’s song Native Tongue appropriate or very appropriate for all the professional gossipers out there? 😉


A small rumor can start a big fight. It’s funny that even though the pettiest little gossip can break a person. To tell all the professional gossipers out there, it hurts. Even the littlest white lie, when told by a person to another, stabs. It’s pretty amazing how something so small hurts and affects a life so much. I’ve always hated that feeling. I’ve always hated people who apparently have nothing else to do, talk about my life so much as if they know me better than I know myself. If I may say so, (and quoting Arya Stark from the TV series Game of Thrones) SEVEN HELLS!


Know the effects and consequences. Before doing anything, think of the possible outcomes. Do people think? I want so much to cuss and curse endlessly because it seems that most of the time, they don’t. YOLO—an excuse to do freakin’ stupid things (including gossiping) because as they say, ‘You Only Live Once’. Bullshit, right? You don’t need to have a thousand lives to make it count. If you know how to live it without hurting and stepping on anyone, well, my friend, I’m telling you, once is more than enough.



…talk and blab about things not about you or pull your crap together and start a life?

… destroy a person’s reputation and dignity by being the catalyst of spreading blasphemous things or help one who’s been crippled by lies?

… start the lies or stop the slur?

“Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people.”

I’d rather stop talking about things which has nothing to do with me and might possibly hurt others than start blabbing about malicious deceits. I’d rather start building my life than destroy a well-founded one. I’d rather stop talking and start living.

Would you do the same?


Photos from Google


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