By Issa Garcia
“I told him that I would love him with everything I had in me until the very end of everything, and I meant it.” ― Sarah Ockler, Fixing Delilah
As a teenager, one of the matters that get our attention is love life. Not all our fond of having a love life but this is communal and natural among teenagers.
Let me share you about something that really brings me pain, boils my blood, clenches my fists, makes me cry, but makes me fall in love harder and harder.
I was just seven years old when I met this thin, dark, brown-eyed, little boy named CJ. Yeah, I know too young for that. He used to be my childhood friend because we live in the same neighbourhood. Back then, I was called one of the boys because all of my playmates were little boys. My mom was also afraid that I may grow up and be a lesbian or something. Aside from boy playmates, I have two brothers.
After a year we moved to Cavite and I only see CJ every Christmas vacation and summer vacation. We still know each other but there’s a little inhibition because we’re growing up and starting to be teenagers.
One day, I was walking around the neighbourhood with my cousin, that was a Christmas vacation when I was on second year high school, someone called me, “Issaaaaa!!” I didn’t even bother to look. Again, he shouted, “Issaaaaaa!!” So I search where it is coming from. It was Jao, he used be my playmate too, then I recognized someone approaching us; it was CJ.
CJ: Si Issa ka diba? Hindi ka na payatot ah. *laughs*
Me: Wow ha? Nagsalita? Sino yung tumatawag sakin?
CJ: Si Jao, hindi mo naaalala? Lagi mo yang binubully dati, sinuntok mo pa nga yan sa tiyan.
Me: Hindi ko alam!!! Sorry!!! *giggles* Si Jiean nga pala, pinsan ko. Si CJ at si Jao. Osige, alis na kami, nagpaload lang kami eh.
CJ: Teka, globe ka ba?
Me: Smart ako eh.
CJ: Kunin ko number mo, kaso wala akong phone ngayon, nanakaw ehh. I-memorize ko na lang, magaling naman ako sa numbers ehh.
Issa: Yabang pa din ha? Hahaha! Anong year mo na ba?
CJ: Second year college, Engineering sa USTe.
Issa: Nuuuks!! *gives my number*
That started then.
I went back to Cavite. We texted almost every day; we talked about everything under the sun; he even jokes that he likes me, but somehow I felt that it’s true.
One day he shared that he started smoking because of a girl. Somehow, I got jealous, I don’t know why but I still comforted him. He became my best friend.
On my fourth year, I took an exam at university of Sto. Tomas and he accompanied me. He was really a gentleman and really kind. When the results came, I didn’t make it and decided to take an exam at Centro Escolar University.
CJ: Debarred na ako sa UST. Lipat ako ng school.
Me: San ka na?
CJ: Baka sa Trinity University of Asia.
Me: Sa CEU ka na lang, para magkakasama tayo ni Jiean.
I stayed at my grandma’s place; the place where I met CJ. He introduced me to every girl that he likes and asked me if they were going to pass my standards, of course I got jealous, like all the time and I did not tell him, because I’m afraid that he might go away. The thought that he was always there for me, with or without his girls, makes me feel good, really good.
One night, I was out with my friends. It was a typical teenager night out— drinking, smoking, and dancing. On our way home, my friend was driving really fast and I felt like something bad is going to happen, I received a text message from CJ.
CJ: Good evening!
Me: Please tell my mom that I love her so much, mamamatay na ata ako. Haha!
CJ: Sana ako na lang mommy mo, para you love me so much din.
OMG! Am I drunk or just dreaming???
My best friend started courting me. And he told me that he knew that this is going to happen. He told that, “Ayoko ng kung sino-sino kasama mo, nag-aalala ako. Pag may sinishare ka sakin na crush mo, nagseselos ako. I want to tell you this, but I’m afraid that you might go away, baka hindi mo ako gusto.” So he also thought of what I thought. After a month he became my boyfriend, finally.
Teenage Love is a complicated but beautiful thing— but ours isn’t that beautiful. There are times that we fought over little things, he even cheated on me, with not just one, not two, but many girls, many to mention. We broke up not just once, not twice, nor thrice, but many times. But I didn’t gave up; nor him.
Mistake after mistake he comes back. Every girl or guy has someone whom they go back again and again, heartbreak after heartbreak, no one understands it, they don’t even understand themselves. They cannot let each other go.
Maybe it was the friendship, maybe because I’m not like his other women, maybe he’s just not ready for commitment, maybe it was just too fast, or maybe were too young for a serious relationship. Many think that I’m stupid for accepting his sorry all the time, but who cares? If God can forgive, why not me? I don’t know if it’s right or wrong, teenage love is probably making things a little more complicated for us but, this is life, not a fairy-tale.
So I came up with the list of the girls that I hated the most, I call this, THE BITCH LIST. (not their real name but you make click on their profiles)
- Ab- she’s a bisexual who calls on CJ whenever she needs something. We used to be friends but before she had been the reason why CJ breaks up on me. I hate her to the nth power! Whenever I hear her name, I flame, smoke and everything goes out of my nostrils.
- Ce– she’s a high school ex-girlfriend turned to a party girl. We used to be friends but she deleted me on Facebook when she knew that CJ goes back to me again and again. She is also studying at CEU and spreads rumours about me. It doesn’t even bother me because I won’t go down to her level.
- Ia– she’s a friend of our friend who was introduced to CJ when we broke up last October 2012. She became everybody’s boyfriend and I hated her for being such a slut, but I found her very kind because she said sorry.
- Ja– she’s Ia’s friend; girl who thinks that she’s very pretty though she’s not. She texted me with unkind words because CJ asked her to apologize to me because they burned my pictures on CJ’s wallet.
- Di– a 14 year old girl who had been everybody’s girlfriend and a little bitch. She she’s CJ as her next target and asked him to drink with her friends. Too bad she started too young, she talks to me without respect, I’m even the one who says,”Po” to her.
- Do– she’s Di’s friend; a girl who said that, “Sino kayang panget satin?” and that made me laugh like all day long, she was a certified stalker who knows CJ’s accounts. She also asked my boyfriend to drink, knowing that she already has a boyfriend. Is that what a girl should be doing?
- K- a girl whom CJ met at BBM and asks him to go out. She’s respectful and kind. She has a boyfriend now so she’s okay with me.
I have forgiven them all already, but once they touch what’s mine, I will punch their face and break their necks. Hahaha! Kidding! 🙂
I asked some of my friends what they will do if their boyfriends cheated on them.
“I’ll talk to him and let him explain why he did that” –Jiean Pazcoguin
“Break agad.”-Labneh Anicro
“Iwan ko siya or I’ll do the same thing. I’ll make him realize kung ano pinagpalit niya.” –Leng Perdido
“Knock on wood. If ever he cheated on me, magagalit ako of course. And if he comes back, begging for me to give him another chance, no way. Kasi once na nagcheat siya and you just let it go, mauulit at mauulit lang yon.”-Clarisse Santos
“Hahayaan ko na lang, bahala na siyang makarma.”-Ayvee Callao
The beauty of being a teenager is having a flexible and more open mind. Friends from our childhood or adolescence are special, no matter how much time has elapsed between visits. These compelling connections are the result of shared roots during the formative years. Our childhood friends and teenage sweethearts experienced with us all the wonderful, horrible, boring, and embarrassing moments that helped to make us who we are today.
We teenagers have to understand our emotions, we are still discovering many thinks, so enjoy. Life and love are two beautiful things that should really be treasured. We just have to know our limitations and learn to limit ourselves; theirs is nothing wrong in falling in love that is the one of the things that makes the world go around.
The guy who used to be my playmate is now my boyfriend. Last September 14, we celebrated our two years of togetherness, stupid or not, I don’t care. He had changed, I’m not sure if he’ll cheat again but one thing we should know about love is that, we have to understand each other’s flaws, mistakes, and accept them. Forgive and forget.
We’re still together, and we made it. I love him and I meant it, isn’t it? Can you do the same thing? 🙂
Photos from Google.com